Новости за 13.06.2023

Silvio Berlusconi, the billionaire media mogul and former Italian prime minister who transformed the nation’s politics with polarizing policies and gained notoriety for his “bunga bunga” sex parties, died at 86. What do you think?

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PALM BEACH, FL—Insisting that it was just another example of the mainstream media lying directly to Americans, former President Donald Trump denied storing documents in his bathroom at Mar-a-Lago Tuesday, stressing that just because a room has a toilet, that doesn’t make it a bathroom. “On the BIASED, DECREPIT CNN,…

JACKSONVILLE, FL—Saying in deliberations that either outcome was fine with him, notably chill juror Ron Howley reportedly told the rest of a local jury Tuesday that he was good with whatever the group wanted to do for the verdict. “Guilty, innocent, I’m down for whatever,” said Howley, who told the other 11 jurors he…

The fact that racism exists in many forms beyond overt acts of hate has started to gain acceptance in recent years, and some white Americans have begun to grapple with the reality of microaggressions, implicit bias, and systemic oppression. Still, many think they are outside of the problem or are absolved of any…

TAMPA, FL—Admitting that he could broaden his horizons and set a better example, local Florida liberal Kenneth Banks reportedly pledged Tuesday to burn more books by women. “Overall, people—especially liberals—need to make a conscious effort to burn more books by women,” said Banks, claiming there was a long history…

KELSO, CA—Not wanting to make the dying man who trudged through the remote Mojave Desert uncomfortable, a local vulture was reportedly trying Tuesday to find a good way to circle without being rude. “I should avoid being too conspicuous, because I’d hate to make this guy feel self-conscious,” said the 5-year-old…

CUPERTINO, CA—Offering consumers a glimpse at the device’s full potential, Apple released a new ad for its new Vision Pro headset Tuesday showing a user standing chest-deep in flood waters while using the device to watch Ted Lasso. “The future of spatial computing is finally here,” said a voice-over during the…

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Scientists have recorded the first known case of a “virgin birth” in a female crocodile that had no contact with males for about 16 years, suggesting its evolutionary ancestors such as the dinosaurs may also have been capable of self-reproduction. What do you think?

Former President Donald Trump faces 37 federal counts after being indicted for holding classified documents at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida, where he had boxes of records in a bedroom, a ballroom, and next to a toilet. The Onion has gained exclusive access to the contents of those documents and the national…