Новости за 01.06.2023

NEW YORK—Amid reports that Kim Cattrall’s beloved character would appear in season two of And Just Like That…, fans were reportedly divided Thursday after it was confirmed that Samantha Jones would return to the Sex And The City franchise as a cybernetic assassin. “Samantha has always been my favorite character, so…

BOSTON—Following a meltdown in the Eastern Conference Finals that saw his team lose the crucial Game 7 by 19 points to the eighth-seeded Miami Heat, local Boston Celtics fan Tim Atkinson told reporters Thursday that he didn’t have the slurs to describe his disappointment. “Watching how badly Jaylen [Brown] and Jayson…

ATLANTA—Urging customers to eat the book cover to cover, a new diversity, equity, and inclusion initiative introduced Thursday by fast food chain Chick-fil-A replaced all chicken with copies of How To Be An Anti-Racist. “In an effort to elevate historically marginalized voices in our country, we have swapped out our…

CHARLESTON, SC—Opening up on the campaign trail about his personal experiences of overcoming adversity, an emotional Sen. Tim Scott (R-SC) told supporters Thursday about a time he was followed through the aisles of a Walgreens just for being Republican. “As soon as I walked in the door, the employees looked me up and…

Scientists and tech industry execs are sounding the alarm about artificial intelligence, writing in a new public statement that fast-evolving AI technology could create as high a risk of killing off humankind as nuclear war and Covid-19-like pandemics. What do you think?

BEVERLY HILLS, CA—Following reports that the 83-year-old actor was expecting a child with his girlfriend, Al Pacino told reporters Thursday that he was excited to spend his life watching his baby grow up to be a toddler. “I’m going to be there for all of it, from the first smile and laugh, all the way to the first…

Gay pride marches and parades will be held this weekend across the United States as LGBT Pride Month draws to a close. Here are some local gay pride celebrations throughout the country.

The Onion asked men—the world’s foremost experts on asking permission, listening, and respecting boundaries—what the word consent means, and this is what they said.

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CHICAGO—Following a widely shared post that sparked debate and confusion among online factions of every stripe, the internet was reportedly divided Thursday over a video that documented a Black cop shooting a white cop for choking out a racist white woman who had just called the police on some Black teenagers. “This…

SAN MATEO, CA—After spending the past three decades of his life being totally unable and unwilling to engage in any meaningful way with the world around him, James Parker, a local guy who sucks at being a person, told reporters Thursday that he saw huge potential in AI. “While it’s still in its early phase, artificial…

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A beluga whale that turned up in Norway wearing a harness in 2019, prompting speculation it was a spy trained by the Russian navy, has reappeared off Sweden’s coast. What do you think?

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SANFORD, ME—Explaining that society’s stance on human morals had varied greatly even over his own lifetime, local man Greg Handley, 46, reportedly asked, “Who knows what future generations might judge us for?” Thursday as he abducted another child to strangle in his basement. “You just can’t drive yourself crazy…