Новости за 10.10.2018

United Nations Ambassador and former South Carolina governor Nikki Haley will leave her post at the end of the year, the latest departure from the volatile Trump administration. What do you think?

WASHINGTON—Calling the phenomenon “yummy yummy good,” the collective United States populace issued a statement Wednesday declaring that they “love when thing taste like other thing.” “We big like when chip taste like salsa! We lots like when pancake taste like cookie! When food taste like other food, can’t stop! Put…

NEW YORK—In an effort to find a more constructive way to cost the other team yardage, the NFL asked pass rushers on Wednesday to seek amicable resolutions with opposing quarterbacks before resorting to a tackle. “Instead of immediately stooping to a violent hit, defensive ends and linebackers should take an empathetic…

WASHINGTON—Assuring critics that the study would provide valuable information on the spread of sexually transmitted infections in rural populations, the U.S. Public Health Service announced Wednesday that they estimate to have the Tuskegee Study of Untreated Syphilis in the Negro Male wrapped up by the year 2020.…

CINCINNATI, OH—Calling the device the perfect addition to any bathroom with loud acoustics or thin walls, Febreze officials announced Wednesday that the company had released a new air horn for covering up unpleasant bathroom sounds. “Pesky, embarrassing bodily functions are simply no match for Febreze’s new…

More Americans rent their home now than at any point in the past 50 years, and many tenants have to contend with landlords who make their lives miserable. The Onion offers tips for dealing with a difficult landlord.

IRVING, TX—In the wake of a report by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change that projected the planet had only a decade to prevent catastrophic global warming, ExxonMobil CEO Darren Woods was reportedly feeling depressed Wednesday after realizing the Earth could end before they finished extracting all the oil.…

Singer–songwriter Taylor Swift broke her long-held political silence to endorse two Democrats running in Tennessee and to urge her 100 million Instagram followers to vote in the midterms. What do you think?

WASHINGTON—Growing increasingly panicked as the American public remained oblivious to their efforts, numerous terrified climate scientists had resorted to frantically waving their arms while loudly begging to be acknowledged by throngs of passersby who proceeded to walk straight through them, sources confirmed…

The U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released a report this week suggesting humanity must make urgent and unprecedented changes to avert the catastrophe caused by 1.5 degrees celsius of warming. What do you think?