I’ve met an amazing woman after wife died – but I struggle when we have sex
DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my wife died I thought my life was over, but now I have met an amazing woman.
After months of misery, she’s brought joy back into my life, and things couldn’t be any better – the only problem is every time we try to have sex I can’t perform.
I’m 54 and I was married to my wife for more than 30 years.
Our marriage was brilliant, so when I lost her to breast cancer 18 months ago, I was devastated.
For months my grief consumed my life, and I struggled to get out of bed most days.
Then, last September I met a kind and beautiful woman at work and we hit it off immediately. She’s 48.
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As we spent more time together I fell for her and everything was great until we tried to have sex and I couldn’t get an erection. While she was understanding, I’m too afraid to get intimate again.
To make matters worse, when I told my family about her, it was clear that they all thought this was happening too soon.
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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your wife. I can only imagine how painful that must have been for you.
While you’re mourning a massive loss, try to remember that there is no “right” time to start dating after grief. Only you will know when you’re ready.
The guilt you feel for moving on is likely the cause of your erectile dysfunction.
To rule out a physical cause please make an appointment to see your doctor.
The best thing you can do is communicate with this new woman in your life about how you’re feeling and take things slowly.
My support pack Coping With Bereavement should help.