‘Miz and Mrs.’ Hitz and Misses: Infant CPR class is a serious business, just ask Dolph Ziggler

Miz tries to be a chef and fails, and Maryse eats all the truffle pasta in Los Angeles.

Last week on Miz and Mrs. there was the big baby shower bash. This week on Miz and Mrs. the arrival of the actual baby grows ever-closer and there are conversations about C-sections and whether Miz could have to miss WrestleMania for the birth of his first child.

As usual, Miz was dopey but hilarious and Marjo stole the show. What else would you expect? We’re officially at the halfway point of the season, so here are this week’s Hitz and Misses.

Hit: The use of “when my hand goes up your mouth goes shut” throughout the episode

One of Miz’s common lines in the ring, it showed up multiple times during this week’s episode. First, when Maryse’s wedding ring got stuck on her finger and one of the attempts to get it off involved her holding her hand over her head. Then, when Marjo was “being Miz” at infant CPR and said the line as part of her impression. As far as WWE cross-promotion goes, things could be way less seamless.

Miss: Maryse and Marjo being late to CPR Class

We could probably chalk this up to LA traffic or the class only having started two minutes before or something, but running behind to a class teaching you how to save your baby if they can’t breathe probably should be something you try to avoid. Maryse’s “oh so it’s like real school!” comment was good though.

Hit: Marjo falling asleep in CPR class

Marjo DGAF. Marjo is the greatest. Rolling into CPR class late, not caring, and then falling asleep while the instructor was demonstrating the method to save a baby’s life? She’s only grandma, she doesn’t have to know any of this stuff. Marjo forever.

Hit: Dolph Ziggler doing Infant CPR school with Miz

Just look at this pair.

After Miz missed infant CPR because he was traveling for work, he surprised Maryse by setting it up separately and getting certified anyway. When did he manage that, you ask? Why, right before he had to wrestle. And Dolph Ziggler was the supportive friend getting certified by his side. Even if you take this as a funny setup for reality show purposes (which, of course) it’s amazing that this was an idea that was brought up and both of these guys went “yes, we will go along with this and allow this to be put on camera.”

ESPECIALLY Ziggler.

The good news is if anyone needs to call him to be a backup babysitter, they can rest easy knowing he’s fully certified in baby CPR. Which is not a sentence I thought I’d be typing at the beginning of this episode.

Hit: Miz’s happiness that the birth timing won’t conflict with WrestleMania

There were so many gems from this segment, but none better than Maryse saying that if you’re a WWE superstar you shouldn’t have sex in July for this exact reason and Miz replying with “I got a hot dog, I got a beer, I got a hot ass wife, what am I supposed to do? America!” Never say he’s not direct.

Luckily, things worked out in his favor (as we know because it happened months ago) and they did a scheduled C-section. No WrestleMania conflict, no explaining to his daughter why he missed her birth because he had to go run around a wrestling ring shirtless and covered with oil.

Miss: Miz not guaranteeing he’d be there for the birth because of Wrestlemania

Sure, all’s well that ends well. But Miz really thought for a second that he would be able to miss his firstborn child’s birth because of WrestleMania and Maryse wouldn’t destroy him the next time she saw him? Don’t joke about missing the labor in front of your extremely pregnant and hormonal wife, Miz! These are easy things to avoid!

Hit: Maryse eating everything in sight because she’s “only pregnant for nine months”

This is such a mood. You’re only pregnant for nine months, so you make it count right? Right. Maryse made it count with hundreds of dollars worth of truffle pasta while eating out ($649.55 worth!), ordering truffle pasta for delivery, and just generally having a bottomless stomach. Who among us would choose otherwise? Maryse is a pregnant pasta hero, and good on her for not once thinking about the extra workouts that it would take to shed all those pasta calories. Take advantage of the no-judgement pregnancy zone for as long as you can, girl.

Of course, Maryse’s doctor had to be a buzzkill and say she was gaining too much weight in the pregnancy so she needed to slow the pasta train down. Just as Miz finally ordered her the fancy pasta without complaining about the price, too! At least that will keep him from ruining fancy truffles by mixing them with Velveeta macaroni and cheese ever again.

Miss: Miz asking about Maryse’s weight at the pregnancy checkup

Besides the whole “might miss your labor because of wrestling” thing, you know what else you don’t do in front of your very pregnant wife? Ask her doctor whether she’s gaining too much weight. Even if the answer is “yes, please make sure she stops eating so much pasta” let the doctor break that news. These are pretty straightforward survival skills.

The most apparent thing this show has taught us so far is that Maryse is a saint for putting up with Miz all the time.

Miss: Miz spraying Marjo with the hose

Sure sure, Marjo may have thrown dog poop onto his very fancy car. But you know what you can do to fix that? Take it through a car wash. You do not attack Marjo. No one touches Marjo. Marjo is a treasure and I will defend her at all costs. She can throw poop at any cars she wants. Doesn’t even need a reason for me to defend her.