This country has an unhealthy obsession with where people go to the loo
If a man wanted to cause me harm it wouldn’t matter if I was in a mixed or single-sex loo.
As a cis woman, I’m here to tell you – plain and simple – that I feel safe in gender-neutral toilets.
Why wouldn’t I?
If a cisgender man wanted to hurt me, nothing would stop him, or get in his way.
Certainly not a symbol with a skirt on displayed on a door. Not a room meant only for women.
If a man wanted to cause me harm (because, let’s face it – it’d most likely be a man), it wouldn’t matter if I was in a mixed or single-sex loo.
Which is why I can’t quite fathom this country’s embarrassing, unhealthy obsession with who belongs in which bathroom.
All apparently for the ‘greater good’ of keeping women safe and dignified – with the very real outcome of demonising the trans and non-binary community, instead.
Under new laws proposed by the (for now, Tory) government, single-sex toilets are set to become a legal requirement for all new non-residential spaces. That means bars, restaurants, offices, hospitals, shopping centres, and the like.
After it was first proposed (and criticised) back in 2021, the government hopes to present this legislation to Parliament in the coming weeks, with the aim of implementing it later this year.
According to these regulations, where space permits, ‘universal’ toilets will be built alongside single-sex spaces in non-residential buildings. Or instead of them, where there’s a space issue – which is a small silver lining, at least.
But it doesn’t detract from the fact that obsessively pushing for single-sex toilets is absolutely absurd – and harmful.
Equalities Minister Kemi Badenoch said the regulations will end the ‘rise of so-called gender-neutral mixed sex toilet spaces, which deny privacy and dignity to both men and women’.
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I’ve never felt like my privacy has been infringed, or felt less dignified, in a gender-neutral loo. If anything, I’ve just been pissed off when the lazy bloke before me has left the seat up and I have to put it down.
It’s a toilet cubicle, and the only shared area is where the sinks are – there’s really no big deal.
Also, don’t lads have the choice of standing alongside each other at a urinal with their dicks out in a men’s-only loo, anyway?
So, how is introducing cubicles for anyone and everyone infringing privacy or dignity when little existed in the first place, then?
It’s laughable, truly.
The government also claims that gender-neutral toilets apparently increase waiting times through shared queues, too.
If the government really wants to discuss waiting times, let’s address the real, screamingly obvious issue: Today’s queues for women-only loos are ridiculously long simply because they’re fundamentally poorly designed as a result of gender bias in architecture.
Women’s waiting times for the toilet is a feminist issue in a world designed by centuries of men that existed before us – without women or their needs in mind.
This sexism is certainly not something I wish to preserve through mandatory single-sex toilets, that’s for sure – I’d rather see it eradicated by neutralising them.
Gender-neutral loos don’t add to those already long waiting times, they just make the space available to all.
Plus, I’ve never experienced cringing embarrassment or a loss of dignity for changing a tampon or coming on my period in a gender-neutral loo, either. Me and my bloody pads are behind closed doors.
So it’s got nothing to do with my rights, dignity or privacy as a cis woman.
But, most importantly, gender-neutral toilets provide safe spaces for the trans and non-binary community, too. To eradicate them is a move that reeks of discrimination and transphobia.
It’s a move that demonises trans and non-binary people who find gender-neutral toilets safe spaces – a space where they don’t have to face dangerous conversations, harassment or judgement.
For those who don’t conform to gender binary, single-sex spaces can come with intrusive questions and challenges – which isn’t fair, right or just.
Metro has heard from an ID’d trans teen who avoided drinking water so they wouldn’t need to urinate in their school’s single-sex toilets.
Removing access to gender-neutral loos subsequently removes that freedom, autonomy and choice from a community that already faces such unnecessary stigma.
Our government will only fuel further alienation and fear of the LGBTQIA+ community if the law comes into effect.
Plus, where is the evidence that scores of women have been harmed by trans or non-binary people in loos? I haven’t found any.
On top of that, no man has ever touched me, harassed me or made me feel uncomfortable in gender-neutral loos.
I’ve been assaulted, catcalled and felt unsafe on my very own street, which should be a more pressing issue for the Tory Government, who is seemingly obsessed with what’s in everyone’s pants, instead.
It’s a toilet. Grow up – your attitude stinks.
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