Harriette Cole: I worry my stage fright will torpedo my chances of a good job

Plus: Since my sister's wedding, the financial burden has fallen on me.

DEAR HARRIETTE: As a recent graduate student, the prospect of applying for jobs fills me with a great deal of anxiety, especially because of my struggles with stage fright and a tendency to stutter when faced with questions.

These challenges have left me feeling uncertain about how to navigate the job application process effectively and improve my interview performance.

I am seeking guidance on strategies to overcome my nerves and manage my stage fright. Can you give me advice so I can secure employment this year?

— Just Graduated

DEAR JUST GRADUATED: Start by reminding yourself of what you are trained to do and what you would like to do for work.

Make a list of your skills and interests, and think of stories that illustrate how you are good at these particular things. Then, as you search for jobs, look for matches. Even if the matches are unusual, keep your eyes open for roles that interest you.

Read the job description, look up the company and study all you can about what they do and who works there. Do your research so that you learn everything you can about the business. This gives you information that you can use to show your interviewer that you care about the job you are applying for and that you are keenly aware of what they do.

Getting prepared helps to reduce jitters dramatically. When you know what you want to talk about, stage fright can dissipate. Make a list of bullet points you want to share that will let the hiring team know you can complete whatever task the job focuses on.

Practice talking about yourself and how you can help the company. Repeat your skills and interests that match the job, ideally out loud in front of a mirror.

Before you go into the interview, do a few deep, cleansing breaths. Trust in yourself. You’ve got this!

DEAR HARRIETTE: Following my eldest sister’s wedding, my other sister and I agreed to split the bills to support our family.

Recently, however, she has not been contributing her share, causing financial strain for me.

I am hesitant to approach her as I know she has debts to pay. Still, I would like to address this situation and communicate my concerns to my sister about the importance of fulfilling our shared financial responsibilities.

— Split It Fair

DEAR SPLIT IT FAIR: I’m not sure about the customs in your culture that require you to pay for your family’s living expenses, but clearly this is tradition.

Since you and your other sister cannot afford the new breakdown on your own, can you go back to your older sister to see if she can continue to contribute something? Though awkward, this may need to become an option.

Speak to your struggling sister to let her know that you can’t foot the expenses on your own. Don’t scold her. Talk to her about the situation at hand, and agree to figure out something that can work.

Speak to your parents and let them know the situation. Now is the time for transparency. You all need to talk to each other. You may need to look past tradition to what’s practical in order to create stability at home.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.