If Movies Had Honest Titles (November 2016 Edition)
1. Doctor Strange
Let's see:
- Rich, brilliant playboy who's defined by his arrogance
- Suffers a horrible injury and grows a beard
- Finds a way to deal with that injury that involves gaining powers and learning from a wise mentor who ends up dying
- Gets a sweet goatee
Yep, Doctor Strange and Iron Man have mostly identical arcs, except Doctor Strange is wayyy trippier.
2. Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them
Remember when JK Rowling was trying to just publish non-magical novels under a pseudoym, but then realized she could just go back to making insane amounts of money nonstop by making Harry Potter-related stuff? Not that we're complaining.
3. The Arrival
Mystery, aliens, and NOT A LAME ALIEN BULLSHIT THING WHERE IT'S JUST YOUR DAD STANDING ON A BEACH! The Arrival is everything Contact wasn't.
4. Hacksaw Ridge
Hacksaw Ridge is Mel Gibson's first film in nearly a decade - and it's an inspiring tale of the nicest soldier ever, who literally refused to bring a gun to some of the most horrifying battles of World War II. And also didn't scream racial slurs and rape threats at his girlfriend, probably.
5. Allied
Mr. & Mrs. Smith represented the end of Brad Pitt's marriage to Jennifer Aniston, and now Allied represents the end of Brad Pitt's marriage to Angelina Jolie. Whoever he marries next should make sure he doesn't make any thriller-romance movies with another beautiful actress.
6. Moana
Moana is called Moana, but the main thing everyone has been focused on is Dwayne Johnson's character, Maui. Because, c'mon, it's THE ROCK. How do you NOT focus on THE ROCK???
7. USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage
People forget how good of an actor Nicolas Cage is - he's an Oscar-winner! But he's mostly associated with his goofier, hammier roles that don't entirely reflect how talented he is. And now he's making low-budget historical films with Tom Sizemore? Nicolas Cage deserves better, folks.