Cartoon Trump Promises To Bring Razzamatazz To The RNC Convention

"Glitz and glamour coming out of [his] razzmatazz-hole." No doubt.

Source: Entertainment Weekly

Donald Trump won Tuesday’s New York primary, but if the Republican candidate fails to get the requisite 1,237-delegate majority, then the Republican National Convention in Cleveland could be up in the air, as delegates potentially recast their votes. Donald Trump’s recent brags about his ability to bribe such delegates were so colorful, they left Stephen Colbert no choice but to bring back Cartoon Donald Trump and ask him about his plans for bringing “a touch of showbiz” to the convention.

“Democracy’s a snoozefest, you gotta zazz it up. I’ve got glitz and glamour coming out of my razzmatazz-hole,” Cartoon Trump said. “First, I gold-plate the entire city of Cleveland, including the people. Then I ride in on a chariot pulled by showgirls dressed as Lady Liberty. And unlike the real statue, these girls are 10s! … Then I take my throne and announce my vice president, Optimus Prime. Together we will transform America to be great again, roll credits.”