Harriette Cole: On the verge of graduation, I’m as confused as any freshman

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in my last semester of college, and I think I should feel confident in my career choice and prepared for my industry; however, I feel as confused as when I first stepped on campus.

Over the course of the last four years, I’ve switched my major a couple of times, searching for the best fit for me. While testing out different departments at my institution, I realized that I was not receiving the support I needed when it came to cultivating career confidence. I find myself unsure about my next steps, yet I feel pressured to make a decision as soon as possible.

Although I was busy with on- and off-campus extracurriculars, I sometimes feel like I didn’t take my time in college to explore as much as I needed to.

How do you think I can take advantage of my last few months to become clearer about what’s to come after graduation?

— Grad

DEAR GRAD: The good news is that you don’t have to decide your entire future right now. That said, you do need to choose an area to pursue in order to be gainfully employed.

Look around. What types of jobs interest you that you will be qualified to do? Think about your extracurricular activities and how they might support your pursuit. Can you include them along with any jobs on your résumé? What can you say about yourself that will make you appealing to a potential employer? Work on that now as you also look for a job.

If your university has a career center, go there and learn about any opportunities they know of. Look in your hometown and ask everyone you know for leads. You may not find something that’s a perfect fit, but look hard for any job that can get you started.

Once you have a job, put forth your best effort, but also keep your eyes open to see what is on the horizon.

DEAR HARRIETTE: As the peacemaker in many of my friend groups, often I find myself in the middle of friendship disputes.

My usual approach is simply to comfort without blaming or pointing fingers at anyone. These conversations often sound like “I understand that” and “I see how that made you feel.”

I do my absolute best not to pass judgment and tear down my friends, no matter what. However, I do not want to make any of my friends feel like I am invalidating their feelings.

I do not think I need to choose sides when my friends are arguing, especially if I was not involved in the situation. I always recommend they communicate directly with one another rather going to other people in hopes that they reach a quick resolution.

How do you suggest I create boundaries with my friends so I stay out of these uncomfortable situations?

— In the Middle

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: When you don’t have the bandwidth to listen to your friends’ problems, say so. Before allowing them to dive into their drama, stop them and apologize as you explain you just can’t listen right now.

You can add, if you want, that you have some other obligation or you need quiet time. Feel comfortable drawing the line when you don’t have the energy to be a sounding board.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.