Child’s Blow Into Car Breathalyzer Rewarded With Dicey Trip To Ice Cream Shop

MILWAUKEE—After instructing his 5-year-old son to imagine a bunch of birthday candles at the other end of the tube, local dad Rick Cerney, 41, reportedly rewarded the child’s blow into his car Breathalyzer Monday with a dicey trip to an ice cream shop. “Great job, buddy—just like a balloon, right?” Cerney said as he used his knees to steer onto a busy road so he would have both hands free to crack open his next beer. “Here, hold the wheel for a second while I find my koozie. Whoa, that guy came out of nowhere, huh? Hey, put your seatbelt on—I can’t risk getting pulled over again. What do you say we stop off to see Uncle Frank and Uncle Jimmy at the bar? You wait in the car while I run in and say hi, then we’ll go find the ice cream, okay?” At press time, the 5-year-old was seen enjoying a scoop of cotton candy ice cream and driving home with his dad passed out in the backseat. 

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