Sex with holiday girl was mind-blowing but I can’t get it up for my girlfriend
DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD fantastic sex with a girl I’d just met on holiday, so I don’t understand why I am a flop in bed with my girlfriend. I went on a scuba-diving break to Thailand with some mates recently, with no intention of playing away. That was until I met this amazing-looking girl working […]
DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD fantastic sex with a girl I’d just met on holiday, so I don’t understand why I am a flop in bed with my girlfriend.
I went on a scuba-diving break to Thailand with some mates recently, with no intention of playing away.
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That was until I met this amazing-looking girl working in a bar. We had a drink and got on so well I went back the next night while my mates went clubbing.
We chatted when she wasn’t working, had a laugh and at the end of the night went for a walk on the beach and found a quiet spot. It was so romantic.
We lay on the beach looking up at the stars. When she kissed me, I knew I wanted her.
I had no problem getting or keeping my erection and I was able to climax properly.
I felt guilty the next morning, especially when my girlfriend texted me to say she hoped I was having a good time. I never saw this holiday girl again.
I am 24 and have been with my girl for eight months. She is 25. At first, everything was great and really exciting.
We have lots in common and are good friends. But when it came to us having sex for the first time, I was really nervous and lost my erection.
It had never happened before with my previous partners.
We laughed it off at the time but it kept happening. It became embarrassing for both of us.
I can sense she now feels self-conscious with me. She has asked me if I fancy her at all. I tell her I find her mega-attractive and want us to have great sex.
I just want to be able to have sex with my lovely girlfriend like I did on holiday.
I want to explain to her that I probably can manage to keep my erection now but I’m worried she will question how I’m now so sure.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your girlfriend means a lot to you and you were anxious to please her the first time you had sex.
Anxiety blocks full sexual responsiveness and the memory of it not going well set up a cycle of fear and failure.
On holiday you were caught up in the moment with that girl from the bar, without the emotional feelings you have for your girlfriend.
So you had no similar anxieties and discovered you can enjoy spontaneous sex with no problem.
You don’t have to tell your girlfriend you cheated but tell yourself you will be faithful in future if you are serious about your relationship.
Just knowing that you have broken the spell will mean you are less stressed next time you and your girlfriend have sex.
My e-leaflet Solving Erection Problems will help you resolve this for good.