Prediction Lg - Final standings (autumn). Playoff matches. 16 Dec
Well. He kindly took his foot off the pedal for a couple of weeks to give AndyDick a bit of hope and keep the lucrative league sponsorship deals safe for next season, but when push came to shove 1961 COYS and his Salad Spinners proved too tough for the rest of us and ran out worthy champions. Well done Mr Spud. The cheque’s in the post.
Down at the bottom I have to say it’s been a difficult night at Jago Towers. Only a Man City win would keep Jago up and send Baby Jago down (despite being in a seemingly impregnable 4th position last week). Oh deary me. So a rather disconsolate an impressively stiff-upper-lipped (not) Baby Jago joins fallen giant Ozz and our resident intellectual ShotthruJoeHart (or whatever he’s called today) in falling into the abyss. At least they will add some much-needed glamour to the wasteland of Collier Row (South) in the New Year.
Talking of Collier Row (South), Wivenhoe, oh Wivenhoe. All you needed to win the division was Man City NOT to win. Oh deary deary me. Instead your Jeckyll and Hyde hide season (here’s your record : DWWWWWWWLDLLLL) let the fast finishing PaulC clinch the second automatic promotion spot (well done Paul) and consign your Data Boys to the playoffs. But the main story surrounds Cool Hand Luke and his hastily assembled Trojan XIX who limped to stormed his way to the Div 2 title in their first season. Congratulations Luke – the first debutante to win since, err, 1961 COYS back in 2015. Prospective new joiners please note – if Luke can do it, basically anyone can.
At the bottom, well done to the Hatted Urchin for keeping going to the end – and really hard luck to Blackballed who misses out on the playoffs despite being the second highest scorer in the division. He lost 4 games by one goal, so maybe needs to add a bit of ruthlessness next year (mind you I lost 6 games by one goal so I’ll also be in the bidding for a Roy Keane figure).
Here are the final week scores and the all-important tables...
UPMINSTER DIVISION
Jogilowabadname (ShotthruJoeHart) 7-4 Dazedandconfused (Ozz)
Carroll's injured again? (Cup of Tea) 8-5 HuttonDressedAsLahm (UrchinYid)
The Wizzzards (Jago) 7-3 The Smoggies (Andy Dick)
I'm Only a Kid (Baby Jago) 5-8 Salad Dodger Hotspur (1961 COYS)
Po Team P W D L F A Pt
1 Salad Dodger Hots (1961 COYS) 14 9 1 4 131 103 28
2 The Smoggies (Andy Dick) 14 7 2 5 111 108 23
3 Carroll's injured? (Cup of T) 14 6 2 6 125 127 20
4 HuttonDressedAsLahm (UrchinY) 14 6 2 6 102 112 20
5 The Wizzzards (Jago) 14 6 1 7 130 118 19
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
6 I'm Only a Kid (Baby Jago) 14 6 1 7 123 127 19
7 Dazedandconfused (Ozz) 14 4 4 6 120 135 16
8 Jogilowbn'm (ShotthruJoeHart) 14 4 3 7 102 114 15
COLLIER ROW (South) DIVISION
Retired & Idle (Blackballed) 6-7 Queens Park Urchins (Hatted Urchin)
Back of the net (Paul C) 10-7 Trojan XIX (Cool Hand Luke)
FC Dench (Maccas1) 7-5 Daley's Dream Team (Fat Tommy D)
Marshland Mardlers (Lord Upminster) 5-3 Lt Commander Data (Wivenhoe Urchin)
Po Team P W D L F A Pt
1 Trojan XIX (Cool Hand Luke) 14 8 1 5 115 103 25
2 Back of the net (Paul C) 14 8 0 6 125 112 24
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
3 Lt Commander Data (Wivenhoe) 14 7 2 5 117 104 23
4 Marshland Mardlers (Lord Up) 14 7 1 6 120 109 22
5 FC Dench (Maccas1) 14 7 1 6 115 127 22
6 Daley's Dream Team (Fat Tom) 14 7 0 7 115 124 21
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
7 Retired & Idle (Blackballed) 14 5 2 7 121 117 17
8 Queens Park Urch (Hatted U) 14 3 1 10 98 130 10
NEXT WEEK – PLAY OFF Semi Finals
Rules : One leg only – normal goal scoring but closest to the attendance wins on penalties if required.
Lt Commander Data (Wivenhoe Urchin) v Daley's Dream Team (Fat Tommy D)
Marshland Mardlers (Lord Upminster) v FC Dench (Maccas1)
PLAY OFF SEMIS – 16 December 2017
At Bibao v Real Sociedad
Brighton v Burnley
Stoke v West Ham
Romford v Mildenhall
Chins v Cheshunt
Att:
Up The Urchins
Jago