Who Are the Thirsty Celebrities on The Masked Singer?
When The Masked Singer’s latest season opens, it’s with a reminder that the show has already hosted “186 celebrities over 11 seasons.” That statistic raises the very real question of what now qualifies as “celebrity” status in the world of The Masked Singer, considering the typically C-to-D-list “stars” the show tends to attract these days. If we’re to believe the judges — and, really, no one should — it’s entirely possible that Cardi B, Tom Brady, or Kerry Washington could jump out of an absurd costume onto the show’s glossy stage at any given time. And while, with very few exceptions, no one with that level of fame ever has been unmasked, viewers soldier on, determined to see which who?s are revealed each week.
With that in mind — and with the acknowledgment that we haven’t yet met season 12 contestants Dust Bunny, Goo, Wasp, Bluebell, Chess Piece, Sherlock Hound, Royal Knight, Macaron, Ice King, and Strawberry Shortcake — here’s our very scientific and mostly confident stab at who we think the sort of famous contestants are this season on The Masked Singer.
Who is Buffalo?
Here’s what we know about Buffalo: While the show initially teases Buffalo as just one person, it’s quickly revealed that the “buffalo” is actually plural, indicating three members of a herd. When they’re introduced by “ambassador” and friend Nick Lachey, there’s talk of “roach-filled beds at night and practicing at bus stops,” pictures of both Betty and Vanna White, and a suggestion that they’ve been on “two of the biggest sitcoms of all time.” There are also nods to some sort of Walk of Fame, a slot-machine jackpot, and a crown. And, though this is no help at all, Lachey says that the Buffalo are “always the center of attention at my epic Super Bowl parties.”
Why it’s definitely Boyz II Men: While the evidence is pretty slim at this point, Boyz II Men feels like a solid guess (and one that Reddit seems to agree with). They have a star on the Walk of Fame, they just wrapped a brief Vegas run (featuring Masked Singer judge Robin Thicke!), and member Wanya Morris was in a weird insurance-sponsored “supergroup” with Lachey last year. They’ve also appeared on a number of sitcoms, including The Fresh Prince, Moesha, and How I Met Your Mother.
Why it might not be Boyz II Men: Both Jenny McCarthy and Rita Ora seem to think it could be B2K, citing the possible presence of Omarion, a singer who’s already been on The Masked Singer and who absolutely hasn’t starred in any incredibly popular sitcoms, save a couple guest appearances on The Bernie Mac Show and Grown-ish. Rita Ora also suggests that it could be Earth, Wind & Fire, a notion so absurd we’re just going to reject it outright. The judges also seem to think that the people in the Buffalo costumes could be athletes, calling them “huge” compared to the six-foot-tall but fairly slender Nick Cannon, though we’d be hard-pressed to think of any athletes who can vocalize and harmonize like the Buffalo can.
Who is Woodpecker?
Here’s what we know about Woodpecker: Introduced by ambassador Jenifer Lewis, who’s known Woodpecker “since her start,” this masked contestant is small and seemingly female and says she’s both a mogul and a “chic CEO” before dropping that she’s also friends with Beyoncé. She’s on the show, she says, because she is “striving to be the youngest billionaire.”
Why it’s definitely Marsai Martin: At just 20 years old, Marsai Martin has already lived a very long and productive Hollywood life. She starred alongside Lewis on Black-ish, has received six NAACP Image and two SAG Award nominations, and has produced or executive-produced multiple projects. She has a first-look production deal with Universal and once told BET that she’d “like to be the youngest billionaire or trillionaire.”
Why it might not be Marsai Martin: It could be Chloe or Halle Bailey, both of whom are notably friends with Beyoncé and who could qualify here. Then again, they’re probably way too popular for this show, so we’re sticking with Ms. Martin.
Who is Leaf Sheep?
Here’s what we know about Leaf Sheep: Introduced by former Denver Bronco Demarcus Ware (last season’s the Koala), Leaf Sheep is referred to as “the GOAT,” though he says “these days, I’m a little sluggish, but you should have seen me in my prime.” He’s “topped the charts” and “revived a franchise,” and he is somehow linked to both a cowboy-hat-wearing seahorse and a quarter. He’s also a pretty bad singer.
Why it’s definitely John Elway: Given that we’re looking for someone who’s older, played quarterback in an NFL team associated with either a cowboy or a horse, and who probably can’t sing a lick, our minds go right to former Denver Broncos QB John Elway. While you could argue that the 10-6 Broncos were doing okay before Elway’s arrival in 1983, they were sort of in the tank in the mid-to-late ’00s before Elway signed on as GM and brought Peyton Manning in as QB, a move that led to the team ultimately going to the Super Bowl.
Why it might not be John Elway: It is. His lackluster vocal performance landed him in the bottom in the season premiere, leading to his unmasking.
Who is Showbird?
Here’s what we know about Showbird: Introduced by good friend Joel McHale, who’s never actually been a Masked Singer contestant but who likes to give judge Ken Jeong a fair amount of shit, Showbird was a “tomboy growing up” and admits to being into nerdy stuff, like LEGO and Comic-Con. She says she’s been in some of the biggest blockbuster movies ever, and there’s a golden gavel in her intro video, suggesting she’s some sort of judge.
Why it’s definitely Yvette Nicole Brown: First of all: Just listen to her. That’s 100 percent Yvette Nicole Brown’s distinctive voice. Second, there’s the link to both McHale and Jeong, whom she starred alongside in Community. And third and fourthly, there are the Hollywood clues, since she notably played Judge Anita Harper on A Black Lady Sketch Show and had roles in Tropic Thunder, Avengers: Endgame, and (500) Days of Summer, among other projects. She’s also a LEGO superfan and a Comic-Con regular who’s moderated more than one big Hall H panel.
Why it might not be Yvette Nicole Brown: If you believe Ken Jeong and literally no one else, it could be Jennifer Hudson. Rita Ora thinks it’s Taraji P. Henson, which is possible but unlikely, and Robin Thicke says Kerry Washington, which is just insulting to Kerry Washington.
Who is the Ship?
Here’s what we know about the Ship: Clad in a sort of steampunk schooner look, the Ship gets her props from Jewel, who has apparently been friends with her for years and years. The Ship says her “career set sail at a rapid clip,” but she “lost control, became lost at sea, and felt forgotten.” She’s turned it around, though, and now has “the career [she’s] always wanted.” The Ship also seems to be a professional singer, given how well she tackles “Pompeii,” by Bastille, with an impressive bit of alto vibrato.
Why it’s definitely Belinda Carlisle: When thinking of people who could possibly be in The Masked Singer costumes, you first have to think about which likely participants haven’t been in the costumes yet. Carlisle has always been a go-to guess for some of the judges, but she’s never actually appeared. Also, after hitting it big quickly with the Go-Gos and then going solo, she had a decades-long substance-use issue that could be characterized as being “lost at sea.” She pulled it together, though, and released a new EP, Kismet, earlier this year.
Why it might not be Belinda Carlisle: There’s a whole list of ’80s and ’90s female singers you could point to as possible options, including Joan Osborne, Meredith Brooks, Sarah McLachlan, Paula Cole, Tracy Bonham, Suzanne Vega, Lisa Loeb, and Shawn Colvin. The cowboy hat makes us think it could be “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone” chanteuse Cole or maybe even notorious shit-starter Tanya Tucker, but we’re probably going to need more information to finalize a guess.
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